The First Time
by faithfulkitty
Summary: How is it that Sasuke got those eyes? Cold, unfeeling, numb. What was the special training that Orochimaru put him through? Angsty, yaoi Orosasu OneShot


The first time...

That very first time Orochimaru had taken him, he had shown him he was weak. With one action he had shown Sasuke everything that was wrong with him: him pitiful emotions, his shame, his fear...

That first time...

It had only been a few boring days at Orochimaru's lair. Nothing had happened for those few days. Aboslutely nothing. Sasuke wondered around the building, meeting no one, only seeing Orochimaru once or twice. Yet, whenever he did, the man's eyes sparkled at him leeringly. Sasuke of course ignored it. The man was nothing more than a tool to gain power.

Then that first night...

Sasuke had burst into Orochimaru's room in an impatient rage, telling him to give him power! What was he waiting for?! Why this lull?! The snake had simply smirked at him and told him that these first days were to prepare him for his training... he had to have the right attitude if the training was to be effective...

The look he had given Sasuke then had unnerved him. Something was lurking behind those cold yellow eyes as he said, "I think you'll be ready soon... _quite _soon," his tongue flicked over his lips and Sasuke left in a huff. The right attitude? What was that idiot talking about?

But now he knew what the sannin had been talking about. He had the right attitude that night, when he had been lying moodily in his bed, arrogant, superior... he thought he had reached the top, yet he was still weak... what was weak about him? Why was he weak? He hated... just what had Itachi meant..? What was it about him that made him unable to grow more? What was he holding onto?

Just as those thoughts lurked across his mind, he had felt a draft of air sweep over his face. Someone had opened the door. He couldn't see since everywhere was dark, inside the room and out. He heard a soft hiss, a drag of cloth over the floor... then he felt a presence looming over him. Maybe it had been a trick of his eyes, but he had thought he'd seen two fierce glowing orbs right above him before suddenly it was on top of him, around him... it was everywhere! He tried to breathe, but what felt like a mouth was over his lips, a long tongue shoving into his surprised mouth, hands held down his hands, strong hips pinned him to his bed, and the lithe body pounded on him, driving the breath out of him while sealing his mouth.

Fear had clouded his mind. He was going to die. If he didn't breath he was going to die. Why wouldn't it let go of his mouth? He needed to breath, he tried to bring air through his nose, but the tongue in his throat closed his air-way. He began to choke, he felt his eyes begin to cloud over. He tried to fight, he struggled like an animal, yet it was stronger than him. It was useless... he was going to die...

Finally it released his mouth, he gasped for a breath, his throat felt raw. He panted and wheezed, then shuddered as he felt that mouth on his neck, that tongue wondering over his skin.There was a rip of cloth as his shirt was torn away and the mouth moved over his chest.

No... this couldn't be happening...why-what? How could this-?

His thoughts tumbled and rolled over each other, nothing making sense but the fear encasing his mind. Revulsion coiled in his stomach as hips and a hardened groin were ground into his crotch, and only increased as the tongue wondered over his skin, the mouth following, sucking and tasting his skin.

"St-stop it!" he yelled as he fought. He tried to wriggle away, but he couldn't, he was trapped.

Panic shot through his mind as the tongue went to his pants and slipped onto the sensitive skin of his thighs. The slick muscle pulled on the band of his pants, pulling them to his knees.

"STOP! No! Don't!" he was hysterical now, his voice shrieked and he squirmed harder than ever, but to no avail. It was too strong, whatever was holding him down was merciless, the tongue running up his inner thighs, finding his balls, licking up his length.

"S-stop it!" tears of shame and disgust leaked from his eyes as the tongue wrapped around his shaft.

It moved even further, left his cock to move to an entrance Sasuke had never thought possible. He was horrorfied as the tongue entered him, his sobbing increased, fear clouding his mind, panic making his heart pound. As the slick muscle entered in and out of him, stretching his entrance, he felt that death would be a better escape than enduring this unimaginable shame.

"_Kukuku..."_

His eyes widened in horror. He knew that laugh. Why hadn't it come to his mind before... that tongue, those glowing eyes, they all belonged to...

His thoughts were cut off as a blinding pain shot thorugh his body. He felt pressure at his hole, felt it stretch as something was pressed, hard and mercilessly, into him.

His scream shot through the room as Orochimaru started to move inside him, pulling out, then thrusting back into him violently. Harder and faster, Sasuke screamed with each pull, with each tear of his skin. Tears streamed down his face, he sobbed shamelessly as he was taken.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally he felt the man shudder as he released, felt his seed fill him and finally it was over.The pressure was released at his entrance, his wrists were finally let go, the weight of the Snake sannin was lifted off of him.

"Now you just lay there and see if you learned what you should have from this training..." that slimey voice said somwhere above him as he curled into himself, tears still streaming down his face and shudders running through his body...

The sannin had left him, still chuckling to himself and Sasuke had laid there that first night... drowning in his own tears and blood.

He had stayed there that whole day. Kabuto came in and wordlessly cleaned him up. Sasuke had been like a rag doll, letting the silver haired ninja move him, lift him from his soiled sheets, and to put him back amidst clean ones.

He had wondered why? Why had this happened to him?

It was only after the third night that he understood. _This was his training._ Orochimaru was bringing his weaknesses to the surface, showing Sasuke that this was what made him weak... his fear, his shame, his ability to feel.

And so the fourth time Orochimaru came to take him, Sasuke tried to suppress these weaknesses, he attempted to even revel in Orochimaru's touch. The sannin noticed the change, and laughed lightly.

"So, Sasuke-kun, you have finally realized just what this training is about... _ku ku ku. _But you are going about it the wrong way I'm afraid."

With that voice Sasuke lost his resolve. The sickness returned to his stomach, his panic swamped over him...

"Now, now, Sasuke-kun, get a grip on yourself," the snake said, smiling sinisterly against the skin of Sasuke's stomach.

But the boy couldn't stand it. He couldn't take it.

"Sasuke-kun!"

But he was already too far gone. Screams escaped him, tears leaked from his eyes as he acted on animal instinct, trying to get away.

Orochimaru had finished with him in dissapointment, telling Sasuke just how weak he was as he left the room.

It took several more nights in order for Sasuke to begin to become numb. Finally, on one night he was able to feel nearly nothing as Orochimaru's hands ran over him, as his tongue invaded him, as he once again tore through him.

More nights he went through the same thing, his mind blank as the snake took him until he reached the point he was now. He blocked his mind as the cool hands ran over his skin refusing to think, to acknowledge what was happening. However as time passed on he began to get frustrated. He had learned stregnth. He no longer cried out, his eyes remained cold and dry... why did the snake continue to torment him?! Why did he continue to come at night? Why woulnd't he leave him _alone?!_

His controll snapped.

"NO! Stop it!! PLEASE! No more! I can't- not again please! Stop!" his scream ripped through the darkness as his control shattered. And yet above his desperate shriek he still could hear the cold laughter of Orochimaru.

* * *

He was cold. 

Finally... he had truely learned, truely achieved perfection.

Orochimaru never came any more.

Sasuke couldn't care less either way.

No longer could he feel. The training had been successful. After so many nights of torture, shame and so much pain... he no longer cared.

So as he looked down on those who he had once considered his friends, he felt nothing... no regret, longing was a mere shadow of a memory...happiness a forgotten dream.

"...on my whim... you will lose your life."

* * *

Wow... that was a lot more angsy than i thought it would be. I usually don't like fan fics about rape, but i always wondered just how it was that Sasuke got those completely cold eyes. This just totally made sense dude!

Anyway, hope you liked it!

Review!

Faithful Kitty


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